The Best Way to Remain Happily Married
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Once we're in a committed relationship it can be easy to let our standards slip and take each other for granted. Here are a few tips to help maintain a happy relationship.
The Best Way to Remain Happily Married
When we first get married we never envisage that there may come a time when we will seek advice on the best way to remain happily married. We are so wrapped up in our lives together, wanting to please each other and spend our time together that we never anticipate that the situation may change.
Let’s look at some of the best ways to remain happily married:
- Communicate properly, don’t just deliver a news update on your day or provide a disinterested, preoccupied presence at the dining table. Communicating properly means listening, following up with genuine interest on what is happening in your partner’s life. It also means sharing your thoughts, fears and concerns too. No one likes to find out by other means, from family, friends or months down the line that their partner is in trouble. Share both the good and the bad. Maintaining open and honest communications is the best way to remain happily married.
- Respect each others opinions and decisions. There may be times when you agree to disagree; you may never fully appreciate their point of view, but respecting their entitlement to feel the way they do is important. Sometimes your partner may be wrong, but do you really need to argue vehemently to prove your point. Give and take is an important principle and provides the best way to remain happily married. Supporting your partner in public, being respectful of their views, even if you disagree makes an important difference to the quality of your relationship.
- Admit if you’re wrong. A relationship can struggle if there is felt to be a lingering, unresolved injustice. A couple can lose respect for each other if one person is seen to be without integrity or honesty. The best way to remain happily married is to decide that the relationship is too important to jeopardize over a point of principle, particularly if you are wrong. Sit down and discuss the matter, calmly and without rancour. Explain the what, why, how behind your behaviour and try to facilitate an understanding between you both.
- Share, do mundane things together. Cooking may seem like a boring chore but can become fun and provide a valuable opportunity to talk, chatter, gossip animatedly together and maintain your relationship. Other chores can be shared and used as important together time; gardening, decorating, even walking the dog can be done together and become important ‘us’ time. Also by sharing mundane tasks one person doesn’t feel like a doormat, doing all the tedious jobs. Obviously there are times when one person may need to work late or two things need to be done at the same time, but let those times be the exception rather than the rule.
- Allow each other space. It’s good to share but it’s also good to maintain some separate interests and friendships. Maintaining some independent activities can add value to the relationship and keep the spark alive. If there are friends or hobbies that your partner doesn’t share the best way to remain happily married is to respect those interests and allow each other some space. Those interests can provide a break, external stimulus and new topics of conversation for when you meet up again later on.
A marriage is best described as a work in progress, evolving, adapting and changing over the years. The best way to remain happily married is to maintain fun, friendship, open communications and mutual respect. When both people feel they are working in the same direction, then a happy marriage can be sustained.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
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