Sitting in Judgment

We all do it, well most of us, sit in judgment of the way another runs their business, the way they do things. Perhaps even who they are. I know it's difficult but I've found over the years that it's much better to try and see the others perspective but even then unless we walk in their shoes then we can never truly know what is going on in their lives or business that makes them behave as they do.

The season of goodwill starts soon, perhaps that season should be all the time. I know I'm going to make a conscious effort to not judge others as I don't know what it's like to be them or to run their business.

So when things don't go your way or things are not to your liking bite your tongue and concentrate on how you can work within their parameters and just maybe it'll pay off in the long run. It has for me.

Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes.

Then, if he doesn't like your criticism, you'll be a long way away and he won't be able to run fast without any shoes.

First seek to understand, then seek to be understood... this is networking... our behaviour is not the right way, nor is theirs... they are different... we are all made up of the experiences, advice, guidance and emotions that we pick up from those around us in our lifetimes... 

Each of us has a set of glasses through which we see the world... this is NOT the map of the world... this is OUR map of the world... who are we to judge anothers map? If someone's behaviour does not match that which we would expect, like as not it is because the experiences, advice, guidance and emotional input has been entirely different from our own...

In order to be of service to the person... we have to learn... if they are prepared to do us that honour and share their story with us....

Love this Tom! 

The truth is, that the only opinions we should concern ourselves with are those of our true friends and family, however we all know that in reality, being judged incorrectly is hurtful and frustrating!

I have been on the receiving end of such judgements and have wanted to speak my mind against them many times, however I have taken the approach that actually if people are that quick to judge without all fo the facts, then there is very little use in my trying to convince them otherwise and furthermore they are probably not worthy of me taking the time and effort to do so!

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

Here's a simple test - who's business are you in? 

Next time you're getting all hot under the collar about how someone should/should have behaved, why their actions were totally out of order or that they are a complete and utter numpty tumpty, realise that you are in someone else's business - personal or professional.  Guess where you aren't - that's right, in your own.

I reckon if someone spends too much time in everybody else's business, there must be something they don't want to deal with in theirs.

...get out of their business and sort out your own.

I've tried it and you know what, life works so much better that way.  Thanks for bringing this to the table lovely Tom.

The Wisdom of Mrs H (well Byron Katie actually, if you fancy looking further)

P.s. I am totally in someone else's business right now coz I'm taking a writing break and avoiding going back to my scribing....soooooo tired!!!!

I think this is very relevant in arranging 4N 1-2-1's and people missing a big opportunity to network "through the room" by dismissing spending time with the person 'in the room'.

Don't overlook the Brian Clough approach : "We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right."

It seems to be commonplace Tom. You never know what is going on in someone's life, you never know why they were acting a certain way that day or that month.

I reckon there's summat in the bible about it.....

Great piece of insight, Tom.

One of the reasons I decided to get out of the hotel/restaurant trade was that every guest (the good & the bad!) wants to tell you how you should be running it. Only those in the industry ever really know what is involved and why something is/isn't done in a certain way.

Hoping my new "guests" aren't too judgmental in my new business!!

I try to keep in mind that all advice given is given with all good intentions.

The advice is normally based on their experience, however it may not fit in with my business for any number of reasons.

Rather than just ignoring the advice I try to work out why it worked for their business and if I can adapt in any way. Either way I'm always greatful for advice

Matthew 7: 1-3

Sorry lads, I just had to.