Dealing with depression, when self employed..

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  2nd Mar 2012 - 15:52 2nd Mar 2012
Helun Ford
Consilium Occupation...

Kevin

I speak from both sides of the fence.  Having been there on a bridge and thinking there was no other way for me, to bring on duty in A&E when they brought in the body of a friend of mine who had hanged himself to today when I have chosen to specialise in an area where I get to talk to people in the same situation.  25% of the population are being ACTIVELY treated for depression at any one time...that's just the tip if the iceberg

When people are so terribly disabled by deopression that they feel that suicide is the only way out for them in the overwhelming majority of cases it is because they feel alone, helpless and that no-one cares for them.  The answer to the situation is basic human compassion, helping them to find a sense of self worth and a return to hope.   A noose is not and never will be the answer to the problem.

I do think  that it is sad that anyone should nned to try to attract attention with such shock tactics as you have employed.  Perhaps, as been said earlier you should consider counselling as you clearly have some unresolved anger. and/or guilt.   I am happy to recommend someone if you should ever want to take such a positive step.

 

  4th Mar 2012 - 18:15 4th Mar 2012
Brad Burton
4Networking
What a lovely thread, we all need support
  4th Mar 2012 - 18:25 4th Mar 2012
Kev Murphet
FrictionTech
Quote:

Kevin

I speak from both sides of the fence.  Having been there on a bridge and thinking there was no other way for me, to bring on duty in A&E when they brought in the body of a friend of mine who had hanged himself to today when I have chosen to specialise in an area where I get to talk to people in the same situation.  25% of the population are being ACTIVELY treated for depression at any one time...that's just the tip if the iceberg

When people are so terribly disabled by deopression that they feel that suicide is the only way out for them in the overwhelming majority of cases it is because they feel alone, helpless and that no-one cares for them.  The answer to the situation is basic human compassion, helping them to find a sense of self worth and a return to hope.   A noose is not and never will be the answer to the problem.

I do think  that it is sad that anyone should nned to try to attract attention with such shock tactics as you have employed.  Perhaps, as been said earlier you should consider counselling as you clearly have some unresolved anger. and/or guilt.   I am happy to recommend someone if you should ever want to take such a positive step.

 

Why on earth would you be adressing this to me, you have already agreed that I'm a knob head, so why bother.
Move on, I'm sure you must have better things to do like looking after patients.

Kev

 

  5th Mar 2012 - 14:45 5th Mar 2012
Grant Shaw
SolarKing UK

Definetely a good subject to talk about, I think things as simple as sh*t I dont have petrol for my next appointment mixed with ni appointments booked in can totally confuse your heand like everythi g theres a snowball affect

  5th Mar 2012 - 17:10 5th Mar 2012
Fliss Spink
Felicity's Driver Tr...

Firstly I want to thank Brad for starting this thread. We had been talking at 4N Chelmsford earlier in the day when I raised this with Brad. I did my first 4sight on 1 March and it was all about depression and how I've used self-employment to bring it under control. 

I hit 30 yrs old and lost my way in life. I had always thought I'd be married with 2.4 children, 3-bed semi and a black labrador! Well, I've got the Labrador, the house and the hubby who came with 4 children. He'd already worked out what was causing it and had been to the vets before I met him! This is when my black cloud moved in. 

I am taking medication (a reduced dosage from a year ago) and my hubby has been very supportive. I have sought counselling and CBT. We have discussed all the options available to us and decided that not having a family is right for both of us. We're going to sell-up in 26 months time (hubby retires from the Police), buy a motorhome and travel round europe until we are old and decrepid!

Depression is an illness that is not talked about but remember folk - it is the curse of the strong and not a sign of weakness

  5th Mar 2012 - 18:57 5th Mar 2012

Quote:

Do you think that was the easy way out for PC Rathband Kev. Do you think anyone who takes their own life thinks it is the easy way out.

Offensive Kev.

Why do you even justify him with a response? Pure attention seeking. 

 

 

  5th Mar 2012 - 19:08 5th Mar 2012
Kev Murphet
FrictionTech
Quote:

Quote:

Do you think that was the easy way out for PC Rathband Kev. Do you think anyone who takes their own life thinks it is the easy way out.

Offensive Kev.

Why do you even justify him with a response? Pure attention seeking. 

 

 

And thank you Gareth for justifying my attention seeking  post as you call it, by bringing  it to attention.

Kev

 

  5th Mar 2012 - 19:23 5th Mar 2012
Debbie Huxton
Life Changer

Fliss, my empathy goes out to you. I hope you continue to recover and soar to new heights. Your sharing with Brad, prompting him to start this thread will have done much good for many who have read this thread. Thank you for being courageous enough to talk about something that is seen as a weakness but that really is not true. Even the strongest of us can only take so much pressure, physical and psychological. 

Napoleon Hill said thoughts become things and he is right but take it a stage further and thoughts become emotions become actions become results so if someone is having continual negative thoughts = negative emotions = poor actions = poor results and poor results leads to more negative thinking and as you can see the spiral is downward unless one can master those negative emotions that are perpetuating the cycle and rise above the storm that is raging inside and take a look at the root cause of their limited thinking and negative emotions.

I am so pleased you shared your story Fliss 

Much happiness to you

Debs xx

  5th Mar 2012 - 20:34 5th Mar 2012
Ross Pitcher
Wilder Coe LLP Chart...
A very interesting topic - clearly one that has struck a chord with many on here soo far.

I agree with Mel Downing's post (page 2) - there is so much of a stigma with most mental health issues that half of the problem is the secrecy surrounding these problems.

I suppose it is comforting to know that many of the members on this forum can share some sort of experience (direct or indirect to themselves) which goes a long way to helping those who are feeling isolated.

Once again credit to Brad for starting a topic with such resonance.
  5th Mar 2012 - 22:57 5th Mar 2012
Stephen Gullidge
EmployingMe

This (the very first post) has actually been me - i say been, i have been on a "what am i doing" "whats the point" "where's the money" for the last month!

If i could hide in a closet for a while and just "disappear and forget" i would!

All day today i have had the strop thing going on and "why am i wasting my time" thing going!

Trying to run a new business - i say run - bugger all to run! i can look at the stock and think "holy sh*t, spent money on that, another thing for wife to moan at, could of saved those pennies for bills and in case something popped up out the blue!" while also looking for a new job - still have one but thats all gone wrong too - so more to get myself at it with!

A never ending circle of being down, i hate it myself, its not me, but can't jump of the bloody thing!!

Everything seems screwed up - but is it? or is it me? Is the new business rubbish? (possibly) work life crap? (big YES!) Is home life full of tension and stupid daily arguments? (of course!!)

So what do you do? what do i do?

Rather foolishly, i have been, and will do tonight, do the lets go to bed and tomorrow will be ok - but i really know its gonna be another one of those days!

As for the tw*t with the stupid picture of rope, that idea can actually be a reality, (dare i say it crosses the mind) and reading that, someone might even think you are correct, so inciting suicide without even knowing about it, my best mates brother done just that, found by his mum, only 22, why? he was unemployed, tried to make money in other ways, but saw no way out..............except one. (I would REMOVE that post!!)

 

,

  5th Mar 2012 - 23:09 5th Mar 2012
Debbie Huxton
Life Changer
Stephen - your honesty is your salvation. Come join me on twitter for some support and if you fancy a chat then give me a call. You're not alone most of us have been there. I'm sure any compassionate 4ner on here would happily have a chat with you x
  5th Mar 2012 - 23:20 5th Mar 2012
Stephen Gullidge
EmployingMe
Quote:
Stephen - your honesty is your salvation. Come join me on twitter for some support and if you fancy a chat then give me a call. You're not alone most of us have been there. I'm sure any compassionate 4ner on here would happily have a chat with you x

I'm affraid due to life and the joys of childhood, i am closed off and never have and never will "open up" as you would say.

maybe i should of had someone to do that many many years ago, so i blame "mum" and i also blame birth "mum" and of course for being like this i blame myself, maybe thats why i want to do something, and do it well, so i can tell them to **** off and "look at me now", maybe thats why i expect so much from myself and end up with nothing everytime!

Thats life, what can we do!! keep the :) on!

Thats as far as i go with this.............

 

  5th Mar 2012 - 23:36 5th Mar 2012
Brian Fakir
Premium Coffee
Quote:
Quote:

Quote:

Do you think that was the easy way out for PC Rathband Kev. Do you think anyone who takes their own life thinks it is the easy way out.

Offensive Kev.

Why do you even justify him with a response? Pure attention seeking. 

 

 

And thank you Gareth for justifying my attention seeking  post as you call it, by bringing  it to attention.

Kev

 

Youve blown the meet like know trust with me and I dont even know you, everyone has a story, whats yours?, youre not squeaky clean sunshine so lets get to know you a bit better.

 

  5th Mar 2012 - 23:40 5th Mar 2012
Brian Fakir
Premium Coffee

Tooooo much information to disc;lose on public forums, always a no no as far as I'm concerned, If you find it neccesary to know my DOB, inside leg measurment, PIN Code or even how many A levels I didn't get, then ask me personally.

What I can reveal however, is apart from Frictiontech, I am also a Director of a Facility Maintenance Company which carries out All Trade Maintenance to the Commercial, Leisure and Hospitality sectors.

I also have a silent interest in an Accredited ADR business

I actively support the work of organisations that work with disadvantaged people, offenders and those at risk of offending, to aid them to find positive lternatives

I employ 2 ex offenders and I'm always willing to help those that are committed to change

Kev

 

 

Kev I quote the above from your profile?

 

  6th Mar 2012 - 00:04 6th Mar 2012
Denise McCallum
Detective Denise

I consider myself very lucky to have never suffered with depression but have close family and friends that have needed help. Its been so disheartening to see that waiting lists for the better therapies are so long. It has often take people a long time to accept they have an illness in the first place and then to be told they may have to wait over a year can make things work. Getting people talking about their problems and thoughts definately helps, being open and honest helps other as they realise its not just them and there is hope. There would be a lot less depressed people if we all opened up a bit more.

Denise

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