 CHIT CHAT 2 (18+) [One for the men!] |
| Author: |
Post: |
|
|
Posted on 15th Sep 2008 at 11:54
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Simon Bourne, Technical Director, Delta PC.
Tel: 01458 270027 Mobile: 07834 658878
'Official Supplier of 4Networking Hardware & Software'
Off Site Backup and Data Recovery from 55p per GB. Can you afford NOT to have it?
www.deltapc.com
www.powerlinenetwork.co.uk
|
   |
|
|
Posted on 15th Sep 2008 at 12:13
Haha! Love it....
Rich 'Puff Richie' Heathcote - The Voiceover Man
"Creating voice audio clips for your business that give you a professional edge - Hollywood quality but without the pricetag!"
 AREA LEADER - Midlands (Birmingham, Great Park, Walsall & Wyre Forest)
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 15th Sep 2008 at 12:59
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 15th Sep 2008 at 13:09
P//ned
Gud day Shelia's
Brad's Aussie counterpart / mate.
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 15th Sep 2008 at 18:51
lol that was funny! I don't like it when men are that smart though.... haha xxx
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 16th Sep 2008 at 19:09
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 16th Sep 2008 at 19:38
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 16th Sep 2008 at 22:24
Thanks.Simon.made.me.laugh.and.cheered.up.my.poorly.mate
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 17th Sep 2008 at 12:20
you rock
regards
mr.t.ricks
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 07th Oct 2008 at 13:30
haha that was amazing! :)
Tim Minion
New Business Account Manager
Symmetry Business Marketing
t: 0845 094 3266
e: tim@symmetry-marketing.co.uk
w: www.symmetry-marketing.co.uk
|
| |
|
|
Posted on 07th Oct 2008 at 14:01
Top-Drawer gag!
January 4N Member Offers:
"DB&B for the price of B&B" or "Dinner for 2 with Free Wine" Click here for details
A Hotel for Business or Pleasure (but better for BOTH!)
01404 831278
|
| |