Who is to blame?

04 Jun 2016

The girls and I went out with some friends to a small animal petting farm in the school holidays. While we were there my youngest daughter fell over and grazed her right elbow. There was some blood, quite a few tears, a lot of cuddles. It hurt, that much was obvious.

It happened when we were feeding the baby goats (who were very cute incidentally). We had bought bags of food and the kids were grabbing handfuls of food, running to the fence, giving it to a goat and then running back to grab another handful.

At the time of the 'incident' I was kneeling by the fence with a couple of the children feeding a baby goat. My daughter came over, grabbed some food, turned around and tripped straight over the legs of her friend who was sitting beside me. As I mentioned before blood and tears and cuddles ensued.

Once my daughter had calmed down she turned to her friend and said, "Say sorry! You tripped me up." Her friend was most adamant that she hadn't tripped my daughter up at all. On our walk to the sinks to get my daughter’s cut cleaned up she was hell bent on blaming her friend for the fact that she was hurt. After a few minutes of listening to my daughter blame her, her friend started to get defensive and shout back. This was the point at which I stepped in.

I explained to my daughter that she had tripped over her friend’s legs because she wasn't looking where she was going, because she wasn't paying attention properly. I explained that to blame someone or something else for your own mistake was not the right thing to do and indeed would only cause arguments between two people who had previously liked each other. By the time we reached the sinks my daughter had apologised to her friend and they were friends again.

We are each responsible for ourselves, our own thoughts, our own feelings and our own actions. If you get hurt don't look around for the nearest person to blame, even if that person is yourself. Blame causes upset, hurt, fights and broken relationships. Blame is entirely disempowering. Taking responsibility for yourself is entirely liberating and empowering.

Catch yourself today. Notice your reaction when something negative happens.

Are you taking responsibility for yourself or are you looking for someone to blame?